A Species Observed

Let us speak, dear readers, on a particular variety of person, one that seems to almost haunt the realms of humanity as a whole.  I do not speak of some bizarre creature or inhuman beast; no dear readers, I speak of the species known only as the douchebag.  They go by many names, among which are Chet, Brett, Jr, and any other name that is immediately associated with keg parties, Jeeps, and questionable headgear placement.  This class of human is quite different from you and I, dear readers, and do not subscribe to our societal norms.  They speak the language of popped collars, frat parties, and Madden.  It would not do well to try and learn their culture; to understand the way they tick, for that way lies madness.  We can but look at them from afar, and observe them in their natural habitat: High School.  It almost seems as if the lifespan of the douchebag reaches it crux once upon entering high school, for it is there that the douchebag can flourish, unbidden from responsibilities, free to do as they please.  This brings me to my next point, dear readers:  Where does the Douchebag come from?  There is not enough white-trash-with-money families in the world to raise near enough the amount that are seen in the world today, are they in fact, cultivated?  Is there, some place in the world, where douchebags are grown, ready to be unleashed on the world at large?  These are thoughts too large for one to grasp, so we shall let them be, for now.  But keep in mind, people of the douchebag-era, when you meet a Brett, Dex, or Keith on the street, be kind, and do not let their teabagging ways affect you in the slightest, be kind to them; for they are not like us, and soon they will see how the world despises their kind, and simply fade away, never to be seen again, except as the voice in our ear, screaming profane comments about our racial background or parentage, during a game of Slayer.  Don't let it worry you, for they have no future, and will be dead shortly.